It is the 90’s. The beginning of a new era. The Berlin Wall is down. Soviet Union is on its knees. MTV is broadcasting for the first time in Greece. Golden years. As a teenager that respects himself I am consuming pop culture like a starved puppy. Till then to learn and listen the new trends in music we were tuning in to our local radio stations, and reading the music magazines of the times. Some of us were lucky enough to have a cousin in the States, and when vacationing in Greece exposing us at the music happenings. Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Jane’s Addiction, Guns N’ Roses the lot!
MTV is on literally 24/7. Sometimes even without the sound on. Just to have the video clips playing was enough. I remember the first time I saw “Nothing Compares 2 You” video clip, the TV was on mute. Sinead O’ Connor’s head was dominating the screen. Her extreme close up was there in half the duration of the clip. In the other half she is wandering in some type of cemetery, dressed in full black like a medieval monk. In the close up she looks at me directly pleading something with great emotion. Real emotion.
I haven’t reached an age yet to grasp the meaning of the lyrics. Haven’t experience such an agonizing feeling of despair yet. I wasn’t even 12 years old. But I was mesmerized by the beauty of her eyes. Her eyes were projecting honesty, and integrity. Those kind of values that she lived and die with.
I was never a fan. I haven’t followed her steps. Didn’t watch the infamous SNL episode, that diverted her music career. Didn’t know about her personal tragedies. From the top of my head I can remember one more song of hers, “Toy Soldier”. And that’s about it. Life took me towards different music paths. Metal, electro, goth, punk. The thing that I know for certain is that Sinead O’Connor disappeared from the mainstream channels of the music industry. Her music wasn’t easily accessible anymore.
Decades later I am reading front page news about her passing away. And first thing that comes to mind is her beautiful honest bright eyes. And I start reading about her life. And there I realized with how much integrity she lived her life. The consistency of her actions is a marvel, especially in our times that it is so easy to lie, spread false news, change your mind about core values in the blink of an eye.
In an interview, she was asked about the famous SNL incident- where in the end of her a cappella performance of Bob Marley’s song “War” she tore a picture of the pope into pieces calling him evil. It was the time that the accusations of child abuse from members of the Catholic Church have come to light. The performance was broadcasted live. So, she was asked from the reporter to comment how she feels that her music career was derailed and in reality destroyed, and if she has any regrets. Sinead replied in all honesty, that her music career hasn’t been cancelled or destroyed. What was destroyed was the dream of the music industry producers and big record labels. The dream that they had for her, in order to make fortunes. Sinead said that her dream is still alive. She performs, she sings, she writes music.
To have an understanding of her tortured soul, just watch the video of “War” in You-Tube. Take a close look of her eyes, of her trembling but strong voice, the energy that she exudes with every fiber of her body and soul. And then in the end of the performance, just feel the tension and the unease that is created in the studio.
In the end, I guess, our life is compressed in a few precious moments. What matters is how we react as ourselves in those moments. How truthful we are. How ready we are to sacrifice precious things in order to stand firm and aligned in what we believe. Rest in peace Sinead wherever your soul roams now. Your integrity and the bravery with which you lived your life, reached out to the world. Thank you!
